The Nemesis of Desperation (Part 2)
By Vincent Ogo
July 30, 2021
The story so Far…. Two desperadoes pretend to be marabouts to rip off unsuspecting folks, and in the process raise the money to finance their ‘back way’ journey. But they soon encountered a muscular lady client…
Ous: The man mountain of a lady, or I rather call her lady Kilimanjaro, was told by Pap that her case is a very special one, that his spiritual eyes is seeing her getting married to a very handsome man…
Ous: He told her that her marriage will be a very happy one…
Ali: And she believed him?
Ous: She more than believed him…
Ali: So, she doesn’t have the sense to know that her inability to secure a husband is due to her Kilimanjaro stature…
Ous: And her gorilla muscles,
Ali: With her heavy body and frame, I bet one punch from her could be more powerful than that of Mike Tyson…
Ous: And I heard that she is rich…
Ali: Rich? If she is rich then it will be easy for her to get a husband; there are many desperate male hustlers in town that will marry any type of woman for money.
Ous: Very true, but I have never seen any hustler that deliberately plunged into a pit of raging fire to retrieve a treasure. You need to see this woman we are talking about.
Ali: I blame her for not knowing the reason no man ever asked her hand in marriage…
Ous: You know that some people never really want to tell themselves the truth…
Ali: Too sad indeed…
Ous: She is not the only deluded fellow that came to Pap. There was this old man, in his mid-seventies, that also came there for a wife.
Ali: What did he say?
Ous: He said Pap should help him make a girl he wants to marry fall in love with him…
Ali: Lai Lai…!
Ous: Do you know girl’s age?
Ali: Carry on.
Ous: The girl, the object of the man’s lust, is about twenty-three years.
Ali: That is crazy!
Ous: There was also this girl who came to consult Pap…a school girl. She wanted to know why she failed her exam…
Ali: Are you serious?
Ous: I mean what I am saying
Ali: And did they demand that this girl buy a sheep or goat to solve her problem?
Ous: Where will a school girl get the money to buy a sheep or goat? They just told her to bring a hen.
Ali: Con artistes. At least they swindled her according to her capability. Tell me, how did they end up with Lady Kilimanjaro?
Ous: She was told to bring seven rams for the sacrifice.
Ali: Hmmm! Seven rams! Those guys are smart. They knew Tobaski was approaching, so the sale of seven rams will earn them a fortune. And the Kilimanjaro lady was not wise enough!
Ous: She was told the rams will be buried alive on the ground where the sacrifice to solve her problem will be carried out.
Ali: So, she went and bout the rams?
Ous: With immediate effect and automatic alacrity. She is somehow well to do, you know.
Ali: And so?
Ous: They assured her the sacrifice will be carried out and a man will propose marriage to her within a period of one month.
Ali: Smart boys, enough time for them to melt away.
Ous: And so with glee Madam Kilimanjaro went and bought the seven rams.
Ali: That was a big coup for Pap and Lai.
Ous: And a jackpot. They told her the sacrifice will be performed at midnight.
Ali: Poor woman. Those two miscreants, so desperate to make it to Europe, and she, so desperate to get a husband.
Ous: When desperation jams desperation, the result could be somehow pathetic.
Ali: If only she found a way to perform a plastic surgery to remove her gorilla muscles, so she could look a bit more feminine.
Ous: Too bad. Anyway, Pap and Lai quietly melted away from the town after conning the hefty lady. They relocated to another town, and rented a space at the livestock market, where they put up the rams for sale
Ali: The rams the Kilimanjaro lady brought to them for the husband magnetizing sacrifice…
Ous: Exactly. But what they didn’t know was that the lady actually bought the rams in that village. In fact the lady happens to be the owner of a very popular eco-lodge in that town.
Ali: To bad for Pap and Lai.
Ous: Too bad for them indeed. Unknown to them, a close relative of Madam Kilimanjaro came by the livestock market. Incidentally, this individual it was that accompanied her when she bought those rams. In fact, those rams were bought at that very market!
Ous: The man quietly phoned the hefty madam. When she was told that the rams she was told to buy for the sacrifice to get her a husband were on sale, she put two and two together and arrived at two.
Ali: She must have pounded those two.
Ous: She paneled beat them. You need to see Pap and Lai’s face now. They look like their faces were decorated by blows from Mike Tyson.
Ali: Serves them right!