The Nemesis of Desperation
By Vincent Ogo
July 16, 2021
Ali: Good seeing you, Ous. What is the latest news in town?
Ous: Hot one, a very hot one,
Ali: Tell me…
Ous: It’s the desperados again
Ali: You mean Pap and Lai?
Ous: Who else?
Ali: The twosome who thinks about nothing else but how to migrate to Europe.
Ous: And they have tried everything possible to raise money for the trip to Libya and then on to Italy.
Ali: You remember how they went to the beach to chase a white lady, only to end up being arrested by tourist security…
Ous: And when they tried to sell a Fula Man’s cow…
Ali: They also posed as real estate agents and attempted to sell somebody’s land to an unsuspecting Serahuli man.
Ous: Lazy boys. They just don’t want to work hard.
Ali: And very foolish too. You remember when they almost drowned when they went to the beach….
Ous: I remember very well, they went to learn how to swim in preparation for their back way journey.
Ali: They heard that sometimes people drown while crossing the sea from North Africa to Italy, so they decided to practice swimming so that it won’t happen to them when they eventually get to Libya and attempt to cross the Mediterranean.
Ous: Fools, which human being will be able to swim across the Mediterranean?
Ali: Don’t tell it to a couple of desperate hustlers.
Ous: Thank goodness they didn’t lose their lives anyway.
Ali: Oh, I forget, some years ago they were approached by someone to market bags of cement for him, not knowing that very individual was among the soldiers guarding one of Yahya Jammeh’s cement depots. The crooked soldier was systematically stealing the cement and selling them. Hmm…when he met with Pap and Lai, he recruited both of them as sales agents…for stolen cement!
Ous: And they went over the moon believing they have hit the jackpot.
Ali: Hmmm…Recruited to sell cement stolen from Jammeh’s depot! They could as well have been recruited to go and pimp inside a lion’s den.
Ous: But they were Lucky. The crooked cement stealing soldier was caught before he could supply any cement to Pap and Lai. When he was given the bandibunka treatment he spilled out the names of all the people he sold the stolen cement to, as well as his agents. The torture was so severe that he also mentioned Pap and Lai.
Ali: Calamity! Disaster!
Ous: They were also arrested, but since they were yet to receive any supply from the thieving soldier, they were let off the hook. But not before spending some days and nights at the tomb.
Ali: Those holes where the Mansa detained his enemies were worse than a tomb. Now, tell me, what is the latest news you wanted to tell me?
Ous: Pap and Lai they came up with a very clever idea. They decided to start telling people their future.
Ous: Pap decided to become a marabout.
Ali: Goodness me!
Ous: Yes, Pap became a marabout, with Lai as his assistant.
Ali: But how is that possible? Those two are well known in the neighbourhood..
Ous: Sure no one will believe them. That is why they simply went to another part of the town up country.
Ali: Smart crooks
Ous: That’s what they are…They went and rented a room in the town they migrated to. And boy, they started making money. The people that patronised them most were aspiring back way boys and girls desperately searching for 2bab husband on the internet.
Ali: Poor souls. They didn’t know Pap and Lai are even more desperate than them to get to Europe.
Ous: Sure they did not know. They willingly and happily brought the goats and rams they were instructed to bring for the sacrifice that will make the boys succeed in their back way journey, and for the girls to get their 2bab husbands.
Ali: A really goatful and sheepful largesse for Pap and Lai. Babylon beckons to them.
Ous: It looked so. But they had a customer who was different from the others.
Ali: In what way?
Ous: She is a lady somewhere in her mid-forties.
Ali: She also wanted to get a 2bab husband?
Ous: She wanted any type of husband.
Ali: You mean she is not the greedy town girl type bent on grabbing a 2bab?
Ous: Yeah. You need to see this lady. She is as heavy and hefty as Mountain Kilimanjaro. Her muscles are as sturdy and steely as those machos that feature in Wrestlemania. Above all she is over six feet tall. In fact she could win Miss Muscle Woman of the World.
Ali: And such a person wants to have a husband!
Ous: Sure. She desperately needs a husband.
Ali. Hmmm…Anyone man that marries that one is signing his own death warrant. She will squeeze the life out of him if he ever crosses her.
Ous: She needs a husband. So she came to consult Pap.
Ali: And they were not even afraid to deceive her, knowing they are fake.
Ous: Those two can do anything and everything possible to get the money they need to fund their journey to Europe.
Ali: So they assured her she will get a husband?
Ous: Of course. Did you know what Pap told her?
(To be continued)